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Matthew Berry's Love/Hate

Matthew Berry's Love/Hate for Week 5 of the Fantasy Football Season

by Matthew Berry
Updated On: October 7, 2022, 1:01 am ET

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Yesterday, Wednesday, October 5th, was Yom Kippur.

Yom Kippur is a Jewish High Holiday – the holiest of holidays.

The website JewFAQ explains it pretty well.

“The name "Yom Kippur" means "Day of Atonement," and that pretty much explains what the holiday is. It is a day set aside to "afflict the soul," to atone for the sins of the past year….On Yom Kippur, the judgment entered in these books is sealed. This day is, essentially, your last appeal, your last chance to change the judgment, to demonstrate your repentance and make amends.”

As ideas go, I like this one a lot.

One day -- one day every year -- where you apologize for everything you've done wrong the past year. An attempt to make amends for everything, to start the process of righting your wrongs.

So I wanna bring the concept to fantasy football.

Now, I want to be clear here. This is NOT an attempt to minimize the significance or importance of the Yom Kippur holiday. As JewFAQ notes, “Yom Kippur atones only for sins between man and G-d, not for sins against another person. To atone for sins against another person, you must first seek reconciliation with that person, righting the wrongs you committed against them if possible. That must all be done before Yom Kippur.”

As a Jewish man myself, I have no interest in doing anything other than honoring the traditions of the Yom Kippur holiday, just as I do every year. It's why I missed the Wednesday episode of the Fantasy Football Happy Hour podcast that also airs on Peacock. My thanks to Connor Rogers, Lawrence Jackson and Pat Kerrane for holding down the fort so well.

It's also why I am specifically writing this after Yom Kippur and obviously this is between me and you, not between myself and G-d.

But I DO like the idea. So I'm using it as inspiration. As motivation. As a reason to introduce my Fantasy Day of Atonement.

I apologize.

Allen Robinson was on my pre-season “Love” list. I ranked him as a top-20 wide receiver. I talked him up wherever I could. I bought into the idea that he was finally playing with the best QB of his career and it wasn't particularly close. I gave stats about how McVay's offense was pass happy in general and specifically when they were in close, top five in goal-to-go pass attempts blah blah blah. I heard reporters I trusted that were at training camp discuss the chemistry between Stafford and Robinson. I mentioned how smart the Rams front office is and there's no way they would give this guy a $46.7-million contract, including over $ 30 million guaranteed, and not target him. I went on and on about all the vacated targets available for Robinson in this offense while noting how many times last year a second pass catcher on the Rams (after Cooper Kupp) had big games, averaging enough points to be a top-16 WR last year.

Again, I ranked him as WR16.

And through four weeks of the NFL season, on a points per game basis, Allen Robinson is WR73.

He has three different games with fewer than five points in PPR scoring.

He has three games with two or fewer receptions.

This past Monday night, he ran a route on 98% of Matthew Stafford's dropbacks.

He finished with two receptions for seven yards.

I mean… what do you say to that?

For me, I can only say I'm sorry.

I blew it man – totally brutal call by me. Please allow me to apologize to you and everyone that has Allen Robinson on their fantasy team. Everyone that used a fourth-, fifth- or sixth-round pick on him. I want that call back. I want to atone for this, my gentle reader and thank you for continuing to read me despite that brutal call.

I am not alone in needing to atone to fantasy managers.

You know who else needs to atone?

Arthur Smith, head coach of the Atlanta Falcons, who has somehow made the greatest tight end prospect in NFL history, a guy who had 1,000 yards receiving last year as a 20-year-old and was a consensus top-three pick at tight end this year, disappear

Under Smith, Kyle Pitts has run just 73 routes (21st among tight ends!) and has fewer than 3 catches and 30 yards in three games this year. Last Sunday T.J. Hockenson had 179 yards, which is more than Pitts has all year (150). Hock also scored two touchdowns in that game, more than Pitts has scored in his ENTIRE CAREER. Did you know Kyle Pitts has never scored a professional touchdown in the United States? (His one score last year came in a London game). He is currently TE18 on the season and honestly, I was surprised he was that high.

How about Bears head coach Matt Eberflus, Bears offensive coordinator Luke Getsy and quarterback Justin Fields? Because the three of them have somehow combined to make Darnell Mooney useless.

Think about that. Last year the Bears offense was a dumpster fire that used multiple QBs and resulted in the front office and coaching staff being let go and yet… AND YET… even amid all that turmoil and chaos and disaster, Darnell Mooney still finished as WR23 in total fantasy points (PPR) last year. He was 11th in targets last year, 13th in air yards and with Allen Robinson and others moving on, there was no way Mooney couldn't go to the, er, Moon, right? (I'll also atone for that Dad joke. Getting them all in just under the deadline). 

And yet… not only is Mooney somehow worse, but he's like, a LOT worse. Unusable worse. Even with a semi-decent game last week, Darnell Mooney is WR81 on the year.

Think about that.

He has 122 yards…ON THE YEAR. I mean six different pass catchers had more than 122 yards LAST WEEK.  

Again, there are 80 wide receivers that have been better than him this year. EIGHTY! Can you even name 80 wide receivers? I bet you can't. If there's a positive, it's that he had a decent game last week, finishing as WR24, and has Minnesota and Washington as his next two, both secondaries you can throw on. So there's some hope.

But Eberflus, Getsy and Fields need to atone for the fact that this is even a conversation. No starting QB in the NFL has fewer pass attempts than Justin Fields. Their entire passing offense averages fewer than 100 yards a game. It's brutal.

And don't even get me started on tight end Cole Kmet, who was so disgusted he actually retired from football after Week 2.

"I'm sorry, what? (Holds finger to ear…) Can you repeat that? (pause). Oh. Really? You sure? Huh. Ok.” (turns back to the audience).

Apologies. I am being told that Kmet did not, in fact, retire. He has just been made to seem like it. SO yeah, doubling down on demands that Eberflus/Getsy/Fields atone.

But it's not just me or NFL coaches and QBs. I know we all need to atone for something. None of us are perfect.

So I asked my followers on the Fantasy Life App and on Instagram (@MatthewBerryTMR) what they needed to atone for.

Among the responses?

“I sabotaged my brother-in-law's fantasy team by mobilizing a mob to veto a great trade that he made.”

“Being “projection obsessed” when I'm setting my line-up.”

“Buying into the Lance hype.”

“I'm 6'5” and I always go to concerts early. Sorry to everyone behind me.”

“Throwing a tantrum at the use of the veto tool in a league comprised of close family members.”

“Overlooking Saquon in drafts this year.”

“I need to apologize to myself for thinking that I'm smarter and better at fantasy than I am.”

“Accidentally naming my team “Tua Deez Nuts" in my work league instead of my friends league.”

“Drafting my fantasy team minutes after my wife had a C-section and my son was born.”

“To my league for the constant flow of trade offers the last five years.”

LeSean McCoy still needs to apologize for spoiling the Avengers.”

“People that don't pay their league dues.”

“I once called this girl's kid ugly before I knew it was her kid.”

Miles Sanders needs to apologize for telling us not to draft him in fantasy this year.”

Matt Rhule needs to apologize to the NFL Community for crimes against humanity.” (TMR note: I assume he means D.J. Moore's usage and not that he's actually accusing Coach Rhule of anything sinister)

“My wife for leaving me.”

Antonio Brown.”

Yeah, we're not topping that guy.

What do YOU need to atone for? Let me hear it on Twitter, TikTok, Instagram and of course the Fantasy Life App.

Meanwhile, a reminder that Fantasy Football Pregame airs every Sunday morning from 11 am ET until 1 pm ET on Peacock. We answer more questions than any other pregame show, so make sure to tweet the show using #FFPregame.

Finally, if you're reading this, you obviously play fantasy football and like having action on a game. You may have seen BetMGM announced a partnership recently. Which means I have a promo code (“BERRY”) because of course I do. IS there anyone that doesn't have a promo code these days?

But hey, free money is free money. If you are new to BetMGM and would like a risk-free first bet of up to $1,000 (you heard me. $1,000) you can do so by clicking here and bet with the promo code: BERRY. Basically, it means if you deposit $1,000 and make your first bet… and it somehow loses, BetMGM gives you the $1,000 back in free bets. Risk free. Anyways, if you enjoy this column being free this is one of the ways NBC pays for it, so I'd appreciate any support you can throw by checking it out, making a deposit and using the promo code: BERRY. There will be a Berry Boost this week for SNF, so hope to see you on there. And hopefully one of the players below helps you take BetMGM's money.

Let's get to it:

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Quarterbacks I Love in Week 5:

Tom Brady vs. Atlanta
In four games against the Atlanta Falcons since joining Tampa Bay, Tom Brady has averaged 28.0 FPPG. He has 23-plus points in all four of those games, and four-plus TD passes in 3 of 4. Wait a minute … did I just write the numbers 28 and 3 in reference to Tom Brady and the Atlanta Falcons? Am I the first person to ever make a 28-3 joke? I think I am! Pretty cool! Speaking of 3, Tampa has the 3rd-highest implied team total this week. And Atlanta is outside the top 28 in completion percentage against. Wow, there are those numbers 28 and 3 again. Weird! Also, after 3 weeks of struggles to start the season, Brady went for just under 28 fantasy points (25.4) last week with Mike Evans and Chris Godwin both back. So Tom Brady is not my QB28 or my QB3 this week. I have him at QB5. 

Joe Burrow at Baltimore
Joe Burrow launched the Joe Burrow Foundation this week, a non-profit aimed at providing resources and support to families dealing with food insecurity and childhood mental health issues in Ohio and Louisiana. And, even better, the Foundation has no plans to use welfare funds for volleyball arenas. Amazing! What's not to love about Joe Burrow so far in his NFL career? So let's keep the positive vibes flowing by putting Burrow on the Week 5 Love list. In Burrow's two games versus the Ravens in 2021, he threw for 941 yards and seven touchdowns (32.4 FPPG). And Baltimore's defense this season is worse than it was then; the Ravens are allowing a league-high 315.2 passing yards per game this season, including 300-plus passing yard games to the likes of Joe Flacco and Mac Jones. Yes, Baltimore's secondary is almost as charitable as Burrow. I have him inside my top 6 in Week 5. 

Derek Carr at Kansas City
David Carr's insistence every year that his brother Derek Carr deserves MVP consideration can sometimes come across as a bit biased. Just a smidge. A dollop. A dollop biased. But … in fairness … maybe David Carr thinks Derek Carr is an MVP-type quarterback because he only watches his brother play against the Kansas City Chiefs. Derek Carr has 18-plus fantasy points in three of his past four games against the Chiefs. And in a game with the highest over/under on the slate (51), Carr is in line for another big performance — especially against a Chiefs defense that has allowed 10 touchdown passes so far this season, tied for the most in the league. Carr is inside my top 10 this week.

Others receiving votes: Starting Teddy Bridgewater isn't super-exciting. But what if we changed his nickname from Teddy “Two Gloves” to Teddy “Two Really Good Receivers?" Granted, it's not a great nickname. But it is accurate, and any quarterback throwing to Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle has fantasy upside. More than 80% of Miami's offensive yards this season have come via the pass, and they're not likely to change their entire offensive approach with Bridgewater under center. This week the Dolphins face a Jets team allowing touchdown passes at the fifth-highest rate … After throwing multiple touchdowns in just two games last year, Trevor Lawrence has multiple passing scores in three of four games this season. He has a positive matchup in Week 5 against a Texans defense allowing the fourth-most yards per completion … Bobby Wagner destroying a smoke bomb-toting fan last week was hilarious. It was also the best (and only?) tackles anyone even slightly connected to the Seattle defense has made all season. (Wagner played for the Seahawks last year). Is that a tenuous connection for a joke just to point out how bad Seattle is defensively? Yes, yes it is. But tenuous connections work against Seattle. Honestly, every connection works against Seattle. Every single quarterback to face Seattle this season has posted a passer rating above 99, thanks in part to the Seahawks allowing a league-high 9.0 yards per pass attempt. This week Seattle faces Jameis Winston, who has 40-plus pass attempts in each of his last two games. (Winston did miss last week and did not practice Wednesday, so keep an eye on his status) … With the Colts struggling mightily at 1-2-1, maybe it's time to admit that their failings last year actually were NOT all the fault of Carson Wentz. And in fact, maybe — just maybe — my Washington Commanders stole the best quarterback in the world from the Colts for a mere pittance! Ever think of that?! Huh?! No, you probably haven't. But indulge me by at least thinking about this: even after back-to-back games under nine fantasy points, Wentz is still QB10 overall (QB9 in FPPG) on the season and is in line for a nice bounce-back game at home against a Titans defense allowing passing touchdowns at the second-highest rate. Wentz, by the way, has 40-plus pass attempts in every game this season. 


Quarterbacks I Hate in Week 5:

Aaron Rodgers vs. New York Giants (London)
If the British people like King Charles III, they are absolutely going to LOVE them some Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers treats everyone on his team — receivers, linemen, you name it — like they're annoying pensYet I hate Rodgers this week more than a center who won't snap the ball. Rodgers is currently QB23 in PPG (13.1) and has fewer than 17 points in all four games. He also ranks 18th in pass attempts so far with the Packers coming in 26th in pass rate. And in a game in which the Packers are 8.5-point favorites, how much is Rodgers really going to throw on Sunday? I have him outside my top 15 in Week 5, and I'm writing it in pen. 

Matthew Stafford vs. Dallas
Frankly, I didn't project Matthew Stafford to supplant Baker Mayfield this season as the quarterback with more commercials than fantasy points. And that's on me. (And also the fine people at Little Caesars and AT&T. But here we are. Add them all to the list of folks needing to atone.) Through nearly a quarter of the season, Stafford is just QB28 overall in fantasy, a single spot ahead of Mitch Trubisky. I don't see things getting much better this week, either. Dallas is allowing just 12.0 FPPG to quarterbacks so far on the season, including three total passing touchdowns. The Cowboys are also giving up a league-low 5.5 yards per pass attempt, and they lead the league in pressure rate. Stafford has plenty of time to turn things around, but that will have to wait until Week 6. This week he's merely a low-end QB2. 


Running Backs I Love in Week 5:

Alvin Kamara vs. Seattle
When I asked folks for suggestions on who needs to atone, I got a lot of “You, for telling us to draft Alvin Kamara.” So I get skepticism here. Been a rough road for us with Kamara so far this year. But hey! Alvin Kamara was a late scratch in London last week, which means he'll be all the more rested this week for a Seattle run defense that might need a literal 12th Man on the field in order to be even mildly effective. The Seahawks have given up 100-plus scrimmage yards to a running back in every game this season. They've allowed the second-most rushing yards to running backs (5.3 YPC) and are bottom 10 in receptions to the position, as well. That's why Kamara is (fingers crossed, come one man) a top-10 back for me in Week 5.

Aaron Jones vs. New York Giants (London)
In the Year 1215, King John of England agreed to limits on royal authority and granted certain rights to English civilians. The document that codified these provisions, the Magna Carta, is still revered in both Great Britain and the United States as the basis for modern individual freedoms. Now today, some 807 years later, with the Green Bay Packers arriving on its shores, England welcomes the “Free Aaron Jones” movement. Coincidence? I think not. Did King John know that one day a talented running back would be underutilized in a struggling offense? Probably! Is this a needlessly long and meandering way to introduce Aaron Jones to the Week 5 Love list? Most definitely! But it's too late now. It happened. And Jones has been happening a lot more of late since being mostly an afterthought in the offense in Week 1. He has 18-plus touches in two of his past three games and at least three receptions in all three. He's also averaging an absurd 6.8 YPC this season, including more than 6.5 YPC in three of his four games. And now this week he faces a Giants team allowing the fourth-most rushing yards to running backs on the season. In a game where I expect Green Bay to be in positive game script, I have Jones as a borderline RB1 this week, a ranking worthy of RB royalty. 

James Robinson vs. Houston
Robinson was drafted late in most leagues and even went undrafted in some, and now he's a clear top 20 back getting a consistent workload every week. I haven't seen a running back do this since … well, James Robinson two seasons ago. So far this season, Robinson has handled 63% of Jacksonville's running back carries along with 68% of red zone touches and 80% of goal line carries. That kind of workload will do well against a Houston defense that has allowed the most rushing yards and the second-most rushing touchdowns to running backs this season. J Rob is locked in as a top 20 play this week.

Jeff Wilson at Carolina
Jeff Wilson has now started three consecutive games without getting hurt, setting the modern record for a San Francisco 49ers back. (Note: I have not verified this stat with my friends at Elias, but I'm pretty sure it's accurate.) Since San Francisco's Week 1 starter (Elijah Mitchell) got hurt, Wilson has 70-plus scrimmage yards in all three of his starts, including two games with 100-plus. Kyle Shanahan has rewarded that production, too, giving Wilson 89% of San Francisco's running back touches over the past two games. Wilson should be in line for another heavy workload on Sunday in a game in which San Francisco is nearly a touchdown favorite. 

Others receiving votes: Rhamondre Stevenson, Damien Harris, BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Craig James … if you have a Patriots running back, you'll want to have him in your lineup this week against Detroit. The Lions have allowed 120-plus rushing yards AND multiple rushing touchdowns to running backs in three of their four games this season, along with 5.3 YPC to the position. Meanwhile, Harris has a touchdown in three straight games and Stevenson has consecutive games with 16-plus touches and 85-plus scrimmage yards. And Green-Ellis and James? They're very well rested and should have fresh legs this week … A good sign for a rookie back in fantasy is an increasing workload. Breece Hall had season highs in both touches and snap rate last week. It was the Breece Hall breakout game we've been waiting for, and he should lead the rushing attack again this week against Miami … Kareem Hunt has 12-plus touches in every game this season and his Week 5 opponent, the Los Angeles Chargers, is allowing a league-high 6.1 YPC to backs this season as well as the fourth-most receptions to the position … Well, if you drafted Nyheim Hines as your Jonathan Taylor insurance policy … congratulations? Is “congratulations” the term to use when someone's first-round pick goes down? It doesn't feel like the right term, but it's the one my limited vocabulary is going with. Hines will get the bulk of the RB touches versus Denver on Thursday night, and in 20 career games in which he's received 10-plus touches, Hines averages 14.5 FPPG. 

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Running Backs I Hate in Week 5:

Melvin Gordon vs. Indianapolis
Javonte Williams' knee injury is devastating to the Denver Broncos and the NFL as a whole. One of the most exciting young backs in the league has a very long road ahead of him. And I can't even offer much of a silver lining from a fantasy perspective for those of you who stashed Melvin Gordon. Following Williams' injury last week, Gordon played just 35% of snaps compared to 65% for Mike Boone. And that was before Denver added Latavius Murray. I don't expect Murray to play on Thursday night or, if he does, it'll be just a few snaps, and Boone isn't big enough to handle a huge workload, so the Broncos will have to lean on Gordon more than they want. But, as one team source said to me, “He's on a very short leash.” With more workload questions than you'd expect after an injury to his backfield mate, it's also a bad Week 5 matchup for Gordon. Melvin is facing a Colts defense allowing just 3.1 YPC to backs. I guess the only positive information I can share is that if Gordon's workload is cut, that means it is less likely he'll get you negative points through fumbles — a stat in which he leads all running backs this season. Hooray! 

Ezekiel Elliott at Los Angeles Rams
Ezekiel Elliott now has fewer than 55 rushing yards in three of his four games. Unfortunately, his receiving numbers are even less inspiring. Elliott has just five receptions on the season and NEGATIVE receiving yards in two of his four games. I mean, if a future Hall of Fame quarterback like Cooper Rush can't make Elliott a receiving threat, what hope is there? With a Week 5 matchup against a Rams defense that has yet to allow 75-plus scrimmage yards to a running back this season, I have Elliott outside my top 25 backs. 

Antonio Gibson vs. Tennessee
I personally love Antonio Gibson's talent, but I'm starting to think his Washington Commanders coaches may not hold the same opinion. Gibson's snap rate has declined every week this season, all the way down to a season-low 41% in Week 4. And after reeling in seven catches for 72 yards in Week 1, he's had just six catches for 29 yards in the three games since. There's a chance Brian Robinson is active for this game as well, and if not, the Commanders used Jonathan Williams (effectively!) last week as well. Gibson isn't playing particularly well, or at least not particularly much, while the Tennessee defense IS performing much better. Since Week 1, the Titans are allowing just 3.7 YPC to backs. All that means Gibson is outside my top 30 backs in Week 5. 


Pass Catchers I Love in Week 5:

Tee Higgins at Baltimore
Baltimore's defense has allowed the most yards to wide receivers this season, is tied for the 2nd-most touchdowns allowed and is also tied for the most deep receptions allowed. That's disgusting no matter how much Old Bay you dump on it. You already know I love Joe Burrow here as well, so there's every reason to think Tee Higgins is in line for a big game on Sunday Night Football in Baltimore. In the three full games Higgins has played this season, he's averaging 19.6 FPPG. And in two games against the Ravens last season, he had a whopping 28 targets and averaged 28.3 FPPG. I have Tee Higgins as an easy top 10 play in Week 5. 

Chris Godwin vs. Atlanta
Chris Godwin isn't even 100% yet and he still got 10 targets in his first game back last week. Tom Brady likes going to Godwin even more than his kale salad maker. Target share aside, Godwin also happens to be a nightmare matchup for the Falcons. In his last four games against Atlanta, he is averaging 22.4 FPPG and has scored in three of them. And it's unlikely to be any different this season. So far this season the Falcons defense ranks bottom three in both receptions and yards allowed to the slot. That's why Godwin Is locked in as a top-16 wide receiver for me in Week 5. 

Chris Olave vs. Seattle
In the receiver-rich 2022 NFL Draft that saw four receivers go in the first 12 picks, Chris Olave might just be the best. He has 80-plus yards or a touchdown in three straight games and is WR17 overall — the highest among all rookies. Olave also has developed quick chemistry with Jameis Winston, getting 26 targets for 498 air yards in his last two games with New Orleans' QB1 under center. With Winston on pace to return to action in Week 5, I love Olave against a Seattle defense that ranks bottom three in receptions and yards allowed on deep passes. 

Zach Ertz vs. Philadelphia
Zach Ertz is TE4 in PPG (13.5) this season and has 10-plus points in all four of his games. He also has 10-plus targets in two of his past three games and leads all tight ends with 10 red zone targets on the season. Zach Ertz is playing great football on the very same field as an undefeated Philadelphia Eagles team. It always seemed inevitable. Just maybe not quite this way. Ertz is my TE6 in Week 5. 

Others receiving votes: Jets rookie Garrett Wilson is WR19 on the season, right on Olave's heels. Wilson had a season-high 77% snap rate in Week 4, with five of his six targets coming in the slot. This week Wilson gets a Miami team that has allowed the seventh-most yards to the slot this season … Robert Woods has 12-plus fantasy points in consecutive games. With Treylon Burks now out with turf toe, Woods is the clear WR1 against a Washington team that has allowed a league-high seven touchdowns to wide receivers this season. Sigh … Kenny Pickett's debut showed he definitely won't be hesitant to push the ball down the field. That may lead to some turnovers, but from a fantasy production standpoint a few turnovers are much better than the Mitch Trubisky approach of being so safe that literally nothing happens at all. Pickett's playmaking will hugely benefit George Pickens, who had a team-high 30% target share from his new quarterback last week. Pickens' target share has increased every game this season and his 17.1 aDOT is the third-highest in the league … Pittsburgh ranks bottom 10 in receptions and yards allowed to the slot. Hello, Isaiah McKenzie, who, assuming he clears the concussion protocol, has scored in three of four games this season and has 15 targets over the past two games … Over Green Bay's last two games, Romeo Doubs has earned 92% of the snaps, resulting in 16 targets, 13 catches, 120 yards and two scores. He's not quite Davante Adams yet, but he is a great Flex option … Cleveland is allowing 14 yards per reception to tight ends this season, second-most in the NFL, and this week they face emerging Chargers tight end Gerald Everett. Everett has 13-plus fantasy points in three of his four games this season as well as three-straight games with six-plus targets … Seattle has allowed the most yards to tight ends this season, as well as the highest aDOT and yards per reception to the position. That means New Orleans TE Juwan Johnson is a viable option in Week 5 for fantasy managers living the TE streaming life. Johnson, by the way, ranks fourth among tight ends in aDOT this season.


Pass Catchers I Hate in Week 5:

Michael Pittman at Denver
Are you still starting Michael Pittman in fantasy this week? Of course you are. You just have to lower expectations because Pittman has a tough matchup on a short week in an offense that will be down Jonathan Taylor. As for the bad matchup part: Denver has allowed the fewest yards to perimeter receivers this season as well as the fourth-lowest catch rate to perimeter receivers. The Broncos have also allowed just one touchdown catch to receivers all season. Even worse, Pittman is expected to draw the Patrick Surtain II shadow, which is … wait for it … SURTAINLY not ideal for a receiver. Eh? Eh? Do you get it? Hey, it's late in the column. You get the jokes you get. I have Pittman ranked outside my top 15 for the first time this year. 

Rashod Bateman vs. Cincinnati
I touted Rashod Bateman all offseason as a 2022 sleeper candidate, and through the first two weeks of the season, he had 13-plus fantasy points and a touchdown in each game. Your ol' friend Matty B was again looking like quite the genius! In your face, world! But in the two weeks since, Bateman has a total of five catches for 76 yards and no touchdowns. And as much as I hate to admit it, Bateman hasn't had more than four receptions in a game this season and has fewer than 60 receiving yards in three of four. And now this week Bateman faces Chidobe Awuzie and a Bengals team allowing the seventh-lowest catch rate to wide receivers. So I would like to let everyone know that when I said Bateman was a “sleeper,” I meant that he would do little to nothing, as in the manner of one who sleeps. I apologize for any confusion. (And if and when Bateman's production picks back up, please know I meant the original version of “sleeper.” Thanks!)

Elijah Moore vs. Miami
The 2022 Elijah Moore breakout has definitely not yet occurred. Moore has fewer than 55 yards in all four games this season and zero games with even double-digit fantasy points. He's also currently FIFTH on the Jets in targets. I'm also not even sure that Zach Wilson's return helps Moore much, because in Moore's five career games with 13-plus fantasy points, only one of them came with Wilson under center. So I'm confident Miami will have no problem against Elijah Moore this week. So confident that I watched “MacGruber” with my opinion on a plane and we laughed throughout. 

Dalton Schultz at Los Angeles Rams
I personally find a successful, winning Dallas Cowboys team to be incredibly boring. I prefer when they're full of drama and locker room conflict. (And I like them most of all when they're behind my favorite team in the division standings.) So in hopes of mixing things up a bit and derailing their season, I'm going to try to create some juicy gossip. And it's this: COOPER RUSH IS PURPOSELY DESTROYING DALTON SCHULTZ'S FANTASY VALUE! In his two games with Rush at quarterback, Schultz has only been targeted on 13% of his routes. And despite playing on 90% of snaps in those games, Schultz has just seven targets and two receptions for 18 yards. I mean, the evidence is clear. No team can overcome this type of fantasy sabotage! The Cowboys are done. Oh, by the way: the Rams have allowed the fewest yards to tight ends this season, so even on the off-chance my completely made-up rumor is false, I still don't expect a big game out of Schultz in Week 5. He's outside my top 12 tight ends. 

Matthew Berry – The Talented Mr. Roto – already knows he's gonna have to atone for some of these picks next week.